I have officially given written notice of my various and sundry maintenance requests. My manager signed and dated it, and Stephanie stood there and watched it all happen. Would you like to know what I've requested? Of course you would.

Maintenance requested 11 August 2003

Electricity: Broken since 10 Aug 2003
Outlets in living room & bedroom, outside patio light not working; no fuses have been blown.

Dishwasher: Broken since Dec 2002
This has not worked since I moved in.

Refrigerator: Broken since Dec 2002
This needs to be replaced: it is currently on the coldest setting, and does not get cold enough; food goes bad quickly.

Pipe behind toilet (inside wall): Broken since June 2003
This is punctured; no visible leaks unless weight is put on the screw.

Pipe running from wall to toilet: Broken since Dec 2002
This is wrapped in duct tape; I don't know why, can you have someone check it?

Replace windows and screens: Broken since Dec 2002
Windows do not lock properly; bedroom window is coming away from casement. This is important, since they are all at ground level. Screens all have holes, which let insects in. Also, add screen for sliding door to patio.

Replace locks on building exterior doors: intermittently broken since Dec 2002
Both doors are difficult to unlock from the outside; this will require either replacing the locks or frequent applications of WD-40, probably several times/week.

Replace bathroom fan: Broken since Dec 2002
The fan makes a horrible noise when turned on; as the bathroom cannot be efficiently aired out, it leaves it open to mildew growth.

Remove/cap rebar sticking up in back parking lot
This is a hazard for those of us who park in back.

Remove shower doors from patio

Remove plants that have grown up over windows
They block the light, which is scarce to begin with.

And yesterday, around four in the afternoon, half of my electricity went out. By which I mean, the outlets in my bedroom and living room have stopped working, along with the patio light. Everything else seems to be fine. The interesting thing is that no fuses were blown. As far as I can tell, there are no fuses controlling the outlets.

Which leaves me to wonder: Why? How? And, most importantly, when will it be fixed? Because, you see, maintenance is not exactly a strong suit with my apartment manager. My dishwasher has been broken since I moved in in December.

But this is electricity. This is important. Surely it will get done today?

I had to plug my alarm clock in in my bathroom last night. At least the spiders woke up bright and early...

For anyone with similar problems, check out the tentants' union.

I've been pre-ordering things from Amazon. It's like shopping, only you don't have to pay right away. It's all sorts of entertainment, because if you're a cheap bastard like me, you get the added fun of tracking your package for a week as it crosses the country via UPS ground. Currently, I have one book in Delaware and one in Kentucky.

Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. I'ts been weeks since my last post.

Things which must be said: Celtic lost miserably. 4-0. It was embarrassing, really. There were no riots, although there was a streaker. He was a seattle streaker, though, so he wasn't terribly good at it; he only managed to get his shirt off.

This past weekend I did cultural things.

On Friday night I saw an arty movie, I Capture the Castle. It was pretty and rather bittersweet, and one of the actresses had very big hair.

Saturday night I went to the opera for opening night of Parsifal in the new hall. Five hours of Wagner. At intermission, I stood in a very long line, and then had to drink my overpriced soda very quickly. It was a lovely production, although I don't like the script as much as some: there's too much waiting around and not enough singing for my taste. On the whole, it was ideal for an opera - it kept me entertained, and gave me something to bitch about afterwards. That's all I ask, really.

Sunday I went to see Procol Harum at the Moore. At least, that's what I thought I was doing. Apparently I was really going to see an entire festival called "Progman Cometh." When I got there, some balding man was singing off-key and substituting nonsense syllables for words. I thought I'd walked in on a sound check, but no, that was his act. Needless to say, I went out to a bar and came back three hours later, just in time to see Procol Harum. They were good. And on-key. And they played all my favorite songs, so I went home happy.

In between my cultural events, I played the new Harry Potter video game. And if you feel that a video game is out of character given my other weekend activities, I can only argue that the video game is this generation's cultural event. How else do you explain the noise and excitement surrounding the release of a new Mario game?

Oh yeah, and I've been devouring trashy detective novels. It's this heat, it makes my brain shut down. As soon as Autumn hits, I'll get back to Crime and Punishment, I promise.