Pure Fuckwittery: Tales from My Commute

Traffic has been a nightmare the past few days. My normal 30 minute commute (20 on holidays my company doesn't observe!) has been taking at least 45 minutes each way. All so I can go 12 miles.

When I'm not swearing, I have a lot of time to read people's bumper stickers.

This morning, I found myself in the lane next to a shiny new gigantic SUV sporting an "I played D&D before it was cool" sticker. The license plate was a variant on "Dragon," and the frame said "We are the knights who say Ni!" Clearly, this guy is very into his hobby.

But, an SUV? A shiny, new SUV? Shouldn't he be driving a broken-down Subaru or something? If he really is a gamer, he's probably one of those horrible power-gamers who steals the last piece of pizza and bends the rules as far as anyone will let him, and only gets invited back because otherwise there aren't enough people.

But maybe that's unfair. I mean he's probably just-- trying to merge into the three inches in front of me while my lane isn't going anywhere? The hell you do, buddy!

Having failed to get into the left lane, SUV Munchkin goes to the right lane. The right lane which is clearly labeled as ending soon, and is therefore empty of cars. He zooms away, off to force his way in front of someone more forgiving than me, someone who will think he just didn't know the lane was ending, or maybe he thought he needed to turn back there, and yes, please nearly squash me flat as you shove your fossil-fuel-guzzling behemoth back into the line of people who actually waited through all this traffic.

SUV Munchkin, there's a special place in hell for people like you.