Season of Potlucks and Passive Aggression

We went to a potluck this past weekend.

It was a birthday party for a friend of the UnSpouse, and most of the guests were firmly in the UnSpouse's friends/my acquaintances camp. I'm not complaining about this; I think it's a good thing that our social circles haven't melded into one big blob.

But there's this one woman.

As far as I can tell, she's never had a very good opinion of me. I don't recall giving her any particular reason to dislike me, so I can only assume:

She's been carrying a torch for the UnSpouse all these years, and sees me as competition

She's freakishly protective of the UnSpouse, and sees me as a bad influence/gold-digger/whore

She's a bitch very unhappy person

Let's call her M, shall we? M is a master of both the passive-aggressive snark and the whiny poor-me act; it's rare to see them married so well. Tip of the hat, and all.

So there I was, chatting with S, towards whom I'm pretty neutral: she seems nice enough, but we've never really clicked. M is also sitting nearby, and some woman I've never met, when the conversation turns to the Harry Potter movie. Someone mentions Helena Bonham Carter, and Stranger says "isn't she the one that's married to Tim Burton?"

"No," M replies,"they have a child, and they live next door to one another. Because marriage would just be too much." There's a vindictive look in her eyes, or maybe I just imagined that bit.

Commence general pile-on over women who would dare to ape the form and conventions of the sacred institution of marriage, without claiming their G-d-given tax incentive. Yea verily, we must protect marriage from teh gays, and how can we possibly do that if women don't follow The Rules? (No idea where the men are in this fantasyland.)

Hello? I'm sitting right here. Really? You're going to do this now?

And there's that moment, where you think about saying something, and you realize, no - I just don't care enough. If it were a friend? Yeah, I would have called them on it. That's not only based on snobbish and, dare I say, bullshit assumptions, it's just plain rude. But M? Nope. Can't work up even a tiny bit of energy for that fight.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get on with breaking commandments and seducing impressionable young people to the Dark Side.