Now That It's Nearly Over

Let's talk about the primary. I've spent quite a while Not Blogging about this, and I've had a good long time to stew about it, so bear with me. Part of my reason for Not Blogging is that many of the things I need to say involve real people, not just people-from-the-internet or celebrities politicians, so if you recognize yourself in here, bear in mind that I absolutely adore you personally, and our political differences don't affect that. Unless, of course, you're an asshole, in which case all bets are off.

First, I want to tell you about being a minuscule cog in the Democratic Party machine. We have caucuses here, which, for reasons I've never worked out, involved selecting delegates, who will then get together and select fewer delegates, and so on up the line until they send some folks to the DNC. I dutifully headed off to my neighborhood caucus with no plans whatsoever to run for delegate, and I signed in supporting Hillary Clinton.

I knew going into the caucus that Obama was predicted to win big in Washington. What I didn't know was the the Lndn LRch crazies would be turning out for Clinton. But there they were, two of 'em, babbling about the housing market and Blmbrg and conspiracy theories. I've tossed off comments about the Obama kool-aid, but these folks have nutritionless beverages down to an art form.

There's not much to say about that first caucus, except that I kept overhearing people talking about "that woman" who was running against Obama. This would prove to be a very unsettling theme.

When it came time to elect delegates, only the two LL-crazies from the Clinton side wanted to run, and I couldn't see myself sending either of them to the next level, so I stepped up. I won handily, I might add, and I ran a clean campaign. Crazy #2 was elected alternate in case I was eaten by rabid hyenas.

Now we unmoor ourselves in time for a moment. During this primary season, I have heard or been told that:

• Any discussion of politics in the workplace is inappropriate - this despite numerous Obama signs in other offices (and one McCain sign), as well as plenty of Obama discussion


• I'm free to switch my allegiance to Obama at the district caucus (never mind my opinion, and that of the people I'm representing - this one really stung, particularly as it came from a good friend)


• The Clintons should be shipped to a deserted island and left without provisions - that's some serious hate, even if it's the height of hyperbole


• Hillary Clinton's support is bad luck for anyone else in terms of political ambitions, as well as quality and length of life (wtf???)


• As a Clinton supporter, my motives in all things were suspect, and I was likely to resort to underhanded or illegal means to disenfranchise Obama supporters

And these all came from fellow Democrats, and mostly from friends. No rabid neo-cons here.

And this brings us to the district caucus, where I was treated to the following:

• "The Clinton people sit over there; this side is for the real people" (repeated ad nauseum whenever anyone came looking for a seat)


• Obvious and deliberate perusal of my tits before suggesting that, by asking a group of loud men to take their conversation to a room where debate on the party platform wasn't happening, I was being wildly unreasonable: "Nobody can hear back here, honey; maybe you ought to move"


• Several friends waving and coming to say hello, sitting down to chat, only to look askance and wander off in a hurry when they saw my Hillary Clinton sticker

So, okay, some people are assholes, and other people perform tremendously assholic moves without realizing it. And politics, like any other competition, brings out the ugly in all of us. And yes, I'm far more sensitive to the barbs directed at me than to those directed at other people.

You know what? These candidates are pretty damned similar. And they're both politicians. Neither will lead us into a glorious future of unparalleled prosperity and peace, nor will either one transform us into a war-torn, poverty-stricken, disease-ridden nation staring into the Stygian depths. They'll be better than BushCo, and better than McCain. They won't live up to the hype. They'll disappoint us on key points. That's politics.

I looked, and I looked, and ultimately I preferred Clinton's health plan. That was just about the deciding factor right there. Obama seemed slightly less good on the environment. Clinton had that pesky war vote, but has since come around. Charisma worries me. On the other hand, I like hope, and I like change (for certain values of change). I also like the idea of someone without the blinders of male privilege. And I have to say, it felt really fucking good to have a choice of two people who didn't make me retch.

But what I want to know is this: why does it have to be so ugly? Where is all this hate coming from? Are we as a country so sick inside that we really want to label nearly half the democratic party as inhuman? Why are people so gleeful when they pile on to Clinton in comment threads? It was an exciting primary season, and people whose votes are usually just a formality got to be in on the process. We had two pretty decent choices with a real shot at winning. And yet, I find myself resenting Obama for the way his supporters have acted.

I hate this feeling, and frankly, it makes me despair at the very thought that this is the world I have to raise my son in.

ETA: I just saw on FDL that Clinton has announced she's okay with the VP spot, complete with all sorts of disapproval that she should "angle" for it or use her delegates as "leverage."

And that's the thing that gets me: she's running for president, people! Of course she wants to win, you don't run if you don't want to actually be president. If she can't win, why should she be faulted for setting her sights on the VP spot? What, did you want her to be a self-sacrificing martyr? Would a man be discounted for doing the same thing?

Don't just hate. Examine your hate. You may not be able to change how you feel, but you can try to understand why you feel it.

ETA2: I want to be clear: there are perfectly valid reasons for voting for Obama over Clinton, and equally valid ones for voting for Clinton over Obama. What I don't understand is the hatred, the schoolyard bully attitudes I see online, and the way that "I just don't like her" is some sort of code phrase for "she's a castrating bitch who needs to be shown her place." I don't understand that at all, and I can only read it as misogyny - how do you hate someone you've never met? How do you hate them so much that you'd threaten to vote in another Bush clone instead? Do you need to like your politicians? Will you be joining them for a beer after work or something? Dislike her politics, her tactics, the way she's run her campaign; I can understand that. Hate her? I just don't get it.