I Don't Understand

Surely, if I have cake, I may do whatever I like with it? Whether it be eating it, smearing it all over my face, or preserving it for decades in a dusty room as part of a shrine to a wedding that never happened?

Was the cake left to me conditionally? "Someday, Son, all of this cake will be yours, but only if you never touch it. Should you ever try to eat the cake, ninja monkeys will come in the night and take it from you, along with your ears, just for fun."

Most cake has too much frosting anyway. Can someone get me a bandage? Effin' monkeys.